I just attended a large workshop of 800 people. It was so interesting to observe how we all make contact and avoid making contact within a big setting like that. It is like a big dance of moving towards and away from each other.
Each one of us has her/his own pattern. While we may be outgoing with friends, family and within familiar environments, we may feel shy with strangers and new situations.
Often, when we are stressed, we go into our heads when we make contact. We start thinking about what to say, how we look, how the other person looks, what our position or worth is in relation to the other.
This creates a very superficial level of contact, and we all have countless experiences of ourselves in it as well as being on the receiving end. This type of contact does not allow us to connect with the other person’s heart and the truth of their being.
Contact can be both, short and functional or deep, extended and meaningful. We may have lots of contact when texting, for example. However in the overall experience, does it feel supportive and nourishing? Are you feeling seen and heard in a way that you really desire?
On the other hand, you may meet someone new waiting in line somewhere and have a brief conversation that leaves you uplifted and energized, perhaps with a smile.
What type of contact do you value?
Contact happens on many levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. At any level, it is always the intention behind the contact that creates results. This means we have to actively put our attention on it and act in a way that is supportive to the outcome we want to create.
If you want deeper and more meaningful contact with another person, it may mean that you talk to them more often, listen more closely and discover what brings them joy.
Sometimes you can have too much contact, which can leave you burdened, stressed and anxious. Being available 24/7 on your smart phone is just one example. In cases like that be open to create “time out” from people and/or technology so that you can create some breathing space and come back to your own inner wisdom and feeling of choice.
Any practice of becoming more grounded will support you to increase your capacity for deeper and more meaningful contact. You can meditate, connect to your energy center or DanTien and you can just take 3 slow breaths to break the cycle and get you back into the present moment.
In my Art of Feminine Presence™ classes we practice how to make contact with others while staying in the body, connecting with our heart and power center. When we can stay in that place and speak from that place, the conversation usually needs fewer words and is engaging, because more than words are transmitted in the contact. It feels nourishing and fulfilling. This is no different for men.
Contact is an experience you have in the present moment. You may have memories and stories from the past that shape your openness to contact and you may anticipate the results of future contact. However, when you can stay open and see each contact as a unique event and stay curious about it, miracles can happen.
So, when you go out today, do so with the intention of making contact and allowing yourself to notice it in your body, your emotions, your mind and spirit. Let yourself be nourished at a whole new level!