Should I or Shouldn’t I ?!

P1050652We live in interesting times!

I can feel things change in my life, and it is all very subtle. I cannot really find the words to clearly define what is shifting. And yet, I feel different in the world – in a good way.

The other day, during one of my Art of Feminine Presence classes, we were all sharing about this subject and how we are trying to make sense of what is going on. The usual: “This is how I have always done it” approach does not seem to be working anymore!

This is a good thing – in my view!

It is so easy to get caught in the many habits and patterns we have developed or to get held back by the frequent use of the word “should” that we – or others – impose on us.

The word ”should” is usually used in the context of ideas we have about how to navigate our complex lives. Often, when we find something that works for us, we are keen to share it as a truth that will apply to everyone. I have certainly found myself in that position on the receiving end as well as the giving!!

However, ”should” can also be a major guilt-inducer that creates an internal contraction and prevents us from seeing and creating a bigger life for ourselves.

We may also use it as a fallback when life gets challenging, and we feel unsure about how to determine the best course of action.

The difficulty with the word “should” is that it is creating a context of rules and regulations that are based on our mind and logical thinking. Consequently, it can be very difficult to create sustained action and maintain our motivation for the “should” activities and behaviors. There is no connection with our true essence, our heart, and therefore no joy.

So, the question is, do we follow our mind or our heart as we are moving into social change and feeling the insecurity of not knowing how this is all going to play out?

My belief is that we are preparing ourselves to move from a mind-centered life into a heart-centered life. We may have an idea of what that looks like, but we are still exploring this way of being and so there is insecurity and an inability to find the words describing what is changing for us. This new way of life is not only affecting our personal interactions, but the structure of society, the way we organize ourselves, do our business and offer our gifts.

So, how can we actively support this shift and feel comfortable and centered doing so? By paying more and more attention to our heart messages.

One way I can more easily connect with my heart is to sit still and give myself some time and space to be with myself. I notice what is going on in my body, mind, emotions and energy in this moment. From that place of connection, I can then ask the question of what I desire in my life and let the answer arise from my heart.

As soon as I connect with my desires, I notice something opening up in myself. There is a sense of curiosity and expansion. At the same time, I feel good about spending time finding out about myself: I see me, I hear me, I pay attention to me. This is personal and unique. There are no rules and expectations. There is no guilt. There is just me and an ever-growing sense of understanding and possibility.

An awesome side benefit of connecting with a desire that originates in my own heart is the ease of taking action on it. Recognizing a desire and acting on it creates alignment. This means I am in the flow with life which in turn offers me ease, joy and peace.
Love that!!

So, I invite you to notice where in life you are still “should-ing”.
What would it take to push the “delete” button and begin to connect more often and more deeply with your heart’s desires?

Happy explorations!

Amara’s Musings: Creating Spaciousness - Inside and Out

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