Cracks in the Armor

41821117 - aged grunge texture. with different color patterns: yellow (beige); red (orange); blue; pink

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

This is one of my favorite quotes and taken from the song Anthem by Leonard Cohen.

So often, it’s difficult to accept ourselves for who we are. We strive to be better, smarter, have it together, make more money, have great relationships and then discover that the Universe only made a partial delivery. Some aspects are missing. That can be painful to look at and even more painful to admit to.

You may carry a desire for perfection that is rooted in your fear of not being accepted, of not being lovable and that in turn may drive a desire to hide what is not complete and whole, what’s not working. When you look at people’s Facebook pages, for example, you often only just see all the wonderful and awesome things they did. That edited perspective easily gets generalized, and your own life by comparison may appear less full and exciting.

However, when you take a closer look, there is no perfection in people’s lives. We all have aspects that work and aspects that are challenging. It’s the same in nature: no tree or plant is the same, even when it has the same parent seeds. So, when could you say that something is actually perfect?

We all have varying sensibilities and tastes. For one person a meal may be perfect, while someone else judges it too spicy or too bland. Your point of view, your perspective, decides how you interpret the information around you. So, perfection is a completely subjective experience.

And still, we often try to portray and project something that we hope will give people a favourable impression of who we are, of what we are capable of. Competition is still a driving force in our economic and social reality for many people and to admit your imperfection can make you feel vulnerable and in your own estimation, put you at a disadvantage.

My preference is to see the pendulum swing a bit more the other way. Our imperfections create our uniqueness, our personal flavor. They gift us with the strengths and wisdom we only acquire when we have come through challenges. Compare a mug that has been mass manufactured with a mug that has been hand thrown on a pottery wheel. Which one creates more personal connection and resonance?

So often we put on a suit of armor in the hopes that it will protect us. In reality, it creates a sense of separation, and makes it difficult or even impossible to judge what lies behind.

Even though it seems counter intuitive at first, when we allow some cracks to appear in the armor, we get a double reward. We can let our light shine out into the world, our real and authentic self. This light is attractive and as it is in alignment with our truth, it actually relaxes people around us. They don’t have to guess or figure out who we really are, and we also appear more approachable.

Secondly, we open ourselves to receiving from the world. This interaction integrates us into the flow of life, and we become participants rather than observers. The cracks have the power to open our heart to beauty and humanity, to connection and cooperation, to acceptance and inclusion.

As we go into the darkest month of the year, you notice more lights being lit outside and inside our homes. There is a natural desire to bring more light into our lives.

Are you open to add more of our own inner light to the displays and at the same time, be more conscious about allowing the light of others to touch your heart and inspire and move you?

Take a moment to notice your own patterns around the cracks in your life. Do you try to smooth them over or fix them? Are you resisting them? Are you welcoming them? And what happens inside you when people share their cracks?

Where in your life is it scary to let go of your idea of perfection and admit to it being incomplete or messy? We all have places where we feel an immediate reluctance to share. Allow it and be with it in compassion. It’s always your decision if and when to open the door.

Can you gather your courage and keep crackin’?

 

Let me know in your comments below how this topic resonates with you.

If you find some challenges in creating this change in perspective for yourself, let’s have a conversation and explore how I can support you in making this happen. Go here to book a free 30-Minute Discovery Call with me.

 

 

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