Moving from Uptight to Untied





Tight, tight, tight.

Sometimes life just feels like that.

You had everything nicely planned and then the proverbial wrench shows up and puts a spanner in the works.

Stopping you.

Making you unhappy.

You were fixed on a certain outcome, expecting it, planning for it to be true and now it’s not happening.

What do you do – apart from moaning, moping and feeling miserable? And even inviting the dreaded “Martyr” word in?

Sometimes we get so wound up in what we think is right, what needs to happen next that we forget that we live in duality, meaning basically, that anything goes. It’s just easier for our mind to occupy only a small section of our big possible world, and whatever we are occupying is the result of a long process of socialization, experience and an innate tendency to default into what is easy, familiar and comfortable.

You may notice that you are more tightly wound in certain areas of your life: perhaps your relationships and money. For someone of you it may relate more to career and health.

Stepping out of these established habits, patterns and expectations is fear inducing and takes courage, a shift in perspective and some surrender. No small task!

So, how do you move yourself into experiencing a bit more wiggle room in your life on a day-to-day basis?

Here are 3 ways to get you going:

1. Noticing

The first step to unwinding a pattern or a tightness is always just noticing, without adding a judgment. Noticing does not mean fixing – a common misconception.

In which aspect of life do you get triggered more, feel righteous or want to control the outcome? Be curious.

Are the same triggers and patterns showing up regularly? Just notice.

What scares you about this? Just notice.

2.Taking another’s perspective

Pick 3 – 4 people in life and start wondering how they would feel about your situation, what choices they would make. How about your best friend, a family member, the woman running the grocery store, Oprah? Be curious. Inquire. Stay open. Notice that likely they will all have a different perspective. Can you allow that?

Can you look at your issue with different eyes? What would happen if you did?

What is shifting inside you? What is important now? Can you see a different path or choice opening up in front of you?

Are you reluctant to change? Come back to noticing without judgment. Say to yourself: “Ahh, interesting.”

3.Connect to the mystery of life

If you feel locked up and tight, add a little spiritual perspective to your life. Go outside and look at a tree. Notice the branches swaying in the wind. What is moving the branches? Look at the plants. What is growing the plants? Be in the mystery. Life is complex, interactive and evolving. We cannot control nature, yet so often we want to control OUR life.

Let it all go for a few minutes and be part of the “not knowing”. Connect to the magic and mystery of life around you and let it expand you.

Have some fun with this – no need to take life too seriously and feel stuck, uptight and unhappy about it all.

If in doubt, smile.

Let me know in the comments below if you tried one of the practices and what the result was.

If you find some challenges in creating this change in perspective for yourself, let’s have a conversation and explore how I can support you in making this happen. Go here to book a free 30-Minute Discovery Call with me.


Amara’s Musings: Creating Spaciousness - Inside and Out

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