What does your space look and feel like?
And, no, I don’t mean your physical space – although that would be a good question as well, do you agree?
Talking to some of my clients recently, I noticed that there is a bit of a pattern showing up in their lives. There are, of course, the usual culprits of overwhelm and general stress, but also feelings of entanglement with others and anger towards people seemingly overstepping their boundaries.
Sounds like an opportunity to check into your personal, energetic space and see what is going on there.
Your personal space is much like an egg. Imagine you being the egg yolk at the center and then there is the buffering, protection and nourishment of the egg white all around you and finally, a sense of containment offered by the fine membrane lining the interior of the eggshell. The eggshell can be understood as your intention of creating a defined boundary that keeps the interior expanded and does not squish it. It is not a shield based on fear to keep unpleasant challenges out, but rather an intentional space holder that stays in place when the trials and tribulations arrive at your doorstep.
Often, when we get angry or frustrated, it is an indicator that someone stepped on a personal boundary, ie the eggshell. They did not see it, because we had not communicated clearly enough that this boundary exists. Often we were unaware of this boundary itself and only discover our attachment to it when it gets violated. This can get messy and upsetting.
Another indicator that something is going on with your personal, energetic space is when you move into overwhelm. Some of the accompanying symptoms are feeling crowded, threatened and a sense of being uncomfortably enmeshed in other people’s lives. For a visual, imagine an opening in the eggshell and membrane and the egg white having left the space. Just like the egg yolk in that case, it is easy to feel exposed and vulnerable.
In that scenario, the usual solution is to become reactive and do anything to move you out of the immediacy of the situation. Of course, the automatic response usually does not reflect your best solution for the issue and can cause even more disruption.
While we will always have opinions, preferences and judgments about all the items we encounter in life, we can learn to keep them out of our energetic space and be less reactive as a result.
Take a moment to close your eyes and notice yourself in the center of an imaginary space. Experience openness around you and an energetic boundary about 2 feet out from your physical body. Within that space you feel expansive. You can breathe freely, feel safe and taken care of. Now notice if there are other people, stories or challenges occupying that space with you? What quality is the outer boundary? Does it need some reinforcement in places? You’ll find that particularly with loved ones the boundaries are less clear and strong.
Imagine yourself now doing some Spring Cleaning. Move everything that does not belong into your energetic space, back outside with clarity and love. Get out the vacuum and mop, dust and polish. Let your space shine and shimmer. Feel the boundary strong, elastic, and permeable, held in place by loving intention.
This intention is about creating a safe haven for you so that you can show up more fully from your loving, creative, compassionate and competent self and offer that to the world. You already know that the alternative is being reactive and trapped in repetitive and non-productive patterns.
So, let’s have fun and with new awareness really get into some with Spring Cleaning this year.
Let me know in your comments below, what you were able to move outside your energetic space.
If you find some challenges in creating this change in perspective for yourself, let’s have a conversation and explore how I can support you in making this happen. Go here to book a free 30 minute Discovery Call with me.