The Big Squirm





I am looking at myself in the mirror.

That in itself is actually ok, because I find I can look at myself without really seeing myself, if you know what I mean.

This time it’s different, though. I am at a workshop and the homework is as follows: Look in the mirror and then look your mirror image straight in the eye and say: “ I love You “ several times until it lands, until you feel the truth of it.


I say it.


And then I repeat it.

More squirming.

More repetitions.

Even more squirming.


The task sounds fairly easy and straight forward, but what actually happens is: lots more squirming, sideways glances, voice slipping off.

It takes a while.

It takes courage.

It takes commitment to myself.

It takes love for myself to complete this challenge.


At some point I notice that my voice gets stronger, my eyes can stay in contact with my mirror eyes, and I am noticing a smile arising, a relaxation in my body and a deep knowing that, yes, I am lovable.

I did this practice for the first time about 8 years ago, and it created a big shift in me. I was reminded of it a couple of times last week when I listened to people talk about doing gratitude practices and offering appreciations to others.

I noticed that it is quite common now for people to have a practice of gratitude every day to uplift themselves and create more happiness in their lives. The gratitude usually focuses on events, experiences, objects and people in our lives. It’s similar with appreciations.


Today, I am inviting you to add another dimension to those types of practices. Make it more personal. Bring YOU into the equation.

Have you noticed that the gratitude and appreciation you offer is usually about things and people outside of you? And even if the gratitude and appreciation is offered towards you, does that reflect how you feel and see yourself?


What would happen if you start to practice radical self-love and begin to add 3 items to your daily list that originate from you and are only directed at you?

Here is my homework for you:

Write down or say out loud…

  1. 3 things that you appreciate about yourself.

For example:

  • I appreciate that I took the time to go for a walk in the crisp morning air.
  • I appreciate that I stopped multi-tasking when talking to my sister on the phone so I could really listen.
  • I appreciate that I gave a big smile to the person at the checkout counter.
  1. 3 things you are grateful for with regards to yourself.

For example:

  • I am grateful that I have so many creative ideas in my head and can…
  • I am grateful that I have a strong and flexible body and can…
  • I am grateful that I have the courage to…


Do this for a week and notice what happens.

And for good measure, throw in the “I love you” practice I described above.

Watch yourself squirm.

Watch yourself transform.

And then…

Watch yourself smile often, for no reason whatsoever.


Let me know in the comments below how this practice is working for you.

If you find some challenges in creating this change in perspective for yourself, let’s have a conversation and explore how I can support you in making this happen. Go here to book a free 30-Minute Discovery Call with me.

Amara’s Musings: Creating Spaciousness - Inside and Out

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