What do you tend to notice more of in your life?
Challenges or wins?
Hard work or playtime?
What’s missing or what is present?
It’s all a question of focus. Do you agree?
Every day in life has a different flavour. Some days, it may feel you did not wake up and are stuck in a dark, ruminating, unsatisfactory place where everything triggers you. Other days, you seem to walk in bright sunshine, everything feels expansive and uplifting and nothing can touch you.
And then of course, there are the everything-in-between days, where you experience a mixture of these two extremes.
My instinctive longing is always to spend more time in the sunshine. At the same time, I am aware that I would not appreciate the sun as much when it would always be sitting bright and clear above me. It’s the movement between dark and light, between cloudy and clear sky, between what we want and don’t want that creates life force, that keeps us engaged.
Living in duality, we cannot escape this natural movement. Often though, we resist it, attaching ourselves to a point of view in order to try and control our lives and steer it in a direction that seems easier, more comfortable and manageable. Becoming attached to a specific point of view stops you from seeing what else may be possible.
When you do that a lot, life contracts. You might find yourself walking down a path that becomes more narrow and darker all the time. You sense less and less control in your life and there is little joy to keep you going. It is as if you are walking down a tunnel, leaving the light of the entrance behind you. As you move along, the space tightens and you see less of your surroundings, less options. Uncomfortable, even scary!
The good news is, when you find yourself in a setting like that, you can change it!
It is as simple as lighting a real candle and looking at it.
That small gesture signals that you are creating a little sliver of time for you and that offers a bit more spaciousness inside. You may notice yourself breathing more deeply, relaxing the body. Also, fire has a magnetic quality that draws your attention and provides a place of focus and allows your mind to relax and stop chattering.
So, go ahead and light a candle.
Now imagine that you are in your tunnel, however far into it you are, and decide to stop and turn around 180 degrees. In the distance you see a small light, the opening of the tunnel. Allow the candle to stand in for that light. In your imagination, begin to walk towards the light.
As you move forward, the light becomes brighter and starts to illuminate the walls of the tunnel. You see crevasses and recesses, other tunnels coming in and merging. Light shines on what has been dark, not seen and thereby fear-inducing. You notice and keep going.
Choices appear: initially perhaps a right and left turn instead of a straight line, then more options, all becoming visible, inviting, possible. You experience a lift on the inside, a relaxation and sense of relief.
You feel brightness enter your body, mind, emotions and spirit – just watching the candle.
Simple and profound.
Let go of the imagery, and let the candlelight take you into a daydream. Allow anything to arise: good or bad, light or dark. When something challenging arises, notice it without attaching a story and keep moving.
Be open to illuminate all of your life – not being selective but inclusive, embracing the beauty of your uniqueness and all of who you are. From this place you can fire up your capacity to dream, connect with desires and take action towards what is important for you. Here you find choices and clarity, courage and curiosity.
So go for it.
Find a candle and illuminate your life.
I’ll find you in your brightness.
If you find some challenges in creating this change in perspective for yourself, let’s have a conversation and explore how I can support you in making this happen.