As this year comes to an end, it seems natural for us to look to the New Year with renewed hope, fresh ideas and intentions.
However, before you go there, I invite you to check back and see what is still incomplete about this past year. So often, we have unfinished business and keep dragging it along. This is not only an energy drain, but it affects your ability to implement and stick with your new intentions.
When you leave something hanging, it will take up energetic space in your brain.
The internal worrier will get a hold of it, mull it over endlessly and play out alternative solutions of the “I should have…” variety, and leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, frustrated, angry and/or judgmental. Most of it directed at yourself. Not helpful!
So, what may you have left incomplete?
It is always good to start with your immediate environment. Anything within your family that has been left unsaid or unresolved?
Do you know why?
Are you afraid to say or do what needs to be expressed? Perhaps you lack the communication skills to do it in a way that is loving, kind and supportive to yourself and others?
Look at your home. Are there any aspects that are irritating or frustrating when you look around? This may have to do with clutter, the need for fixing or updating or the fact that you want or need a quiet space for yourself. Is this about money, organization or communication?
Then cast a wider net to your friends, work and community. What’s unfinished here? Are your friends true friends or are you carrying them along, just because they have always been there? Are there changes in your work that need to be addressed – either in your relationship to your work or the demands of the workplace on you? Are you involved in your community and related projects in the way that is supportive to you or do you get caught in obligation?
Now is a good time to have a truthful look.
Become clear what’s incomplete and why.
What things or people do you hold onto because they have been around for a long time and you have stopped looking with fresh eyes?
What do you carry forward out of obligation and from a sense of have to and should?
What communications do you shy away from?
Are there skills to be learned?
What kind of support do you need in order to complete an issue?
Any of these questions can be used to explore more deeply, just turn them around a bit and leave them open ended to fill in the blanks. For example:
A communication I shy away from at work is…
What I need to confront in myself regarding this communication is…
My fear about communicating is…
A skill I’m needing is…
You may also notice that there are some patterns in your life that show up again and again, creating frustration, sadness and even a feeling of defeat, like “I never…” Some of these patters you may have carried for years and they also are ‘incompletes’. Most people accept these ‘life backpacks’ without giving it much thought. Only when they become so heavy that they cause health, relationship or money issues, will they stop to look to see what can be done to resolve them.
Going Forward:
When you are looking at issues in your life and sorting through them, intend to bring them into the present with an eye to the future.
What is important and meaningful to you now? Do these people, these items contribute to your life in a positive way and nourish and inspire you? Are they expressive of where you want to go or do they hold you back?
Are you willing to complete and let go?
Deep, challenging questions!
Liberating questions!
Are you ready to ask and act on the answer?
Pick one item you are going to complete and post it below, so we can hold space for you to make it happen.
If you feel overwhelmed or stuck by your completions, talk to me. This is my expertise.
Book a free 30 min Discovery session with me to find out how I can support you on this journey.